Hi everyone! I recently took to blogging my thoughts on my personal FB page, and while I know that many people have read them, I also realised that many also have not. So I would like to share them here. They are really mini (actually they are quite big lessons on second thoughts!) lessons I have learned over the years, and re-learning them now.
22 March 2015: #thoughtoftheday Everyone has a relative or a friend who does this — takes advantage of you and holds you hostage emotionally and mentally. The best way to deal with people like these who obviously are too self centred to care about you and your feelings is to stop the habit of co-dependency.
When you are co-dependent, it just means you are responsible for feeding their behaviour. When you give in, they will just do it over and over again, until you are so depleted that you have nothing more to give, not even psychologically.
Selfish people like these, by nature of their selfishness cannot even comprehend the extend of their taking. They only see their own right to take. And they will keep on doing it unless you stop and not allow their emotional blackmail to get at you. Their sociopathic tendencies will only be fed by you if you ‘feel bad’ or obligated and feel you need to help because they have managed to spin another sob story on how pathetic they really are. They have no shame, and can stoop low to get what they want, without giving anything back in return.
I personally have learned this the hard way. But no more. I no longer want to save people like these, they get what they deserve in truth, neither do I buy into the pathetic games they play. No more, no more, no more. Let their own shit hit the fan, and splatter on their own faces.#youcannotsavepeoplefromthemselves#thosewhocannothelpthemselvesshouldnotteach #looksaredeceiving
20th March 2015: #thoughtofheday: To rock the boat or be happy with how things are? If you are the sort of person that fears change, then obviously rocking the boat is no fun at all. You remain happy in a life of sameness, no progress in inner development, no progress in your relationships, just satisfied to receive what you get. And if the boat is rocked, you try to force it back to what it was. But if you yearn for progress, you will never be happy with sameness. You thrive on progress and rocking the boat (whatever boat – career, marriage, relationships, spiritual connections) takes you to your next level, and this could even mean leaving some people, thinking, practices behind….
Now if you yearn for depth of growth, how hard do you want to rock the boat? Ocean size waves or just river ripples? How much are you prepared for it?
I love rocking the boat. I have no patience for the pretentious masks that people wear, it is just a waste of energy and time to be what you are not.
One conversation I had with someone who lives his life with masks all plastered up his face said this to me in a negotiation: In an ideal world, I would like blah blah blah.
My response: In an ideal world, we would not be having this conversation….
Why live in pretense which takes so much energy when you can be free and happy to be who you are…..
18th March 2015: #thoughtoftheday: It is so easy to talk about forgiveness and letting go etc. But how many people are actually doing it? Because it is not an easy thing to do. There is more to forgiveness than just letting go……
To make matters worse, sometimes the people who have wronged others, are the ones doing the forgiveness rhetoric. Turning tables around to forgive those they have wronged! (What sociopathic tendencies, some may say!)
Ultimately whether you are the one who caused pain to others, or the one being hurt, each must take responsibility for those actions. The true freedom of forgiveness is taking responsibility for self and the ‘wronged’ action.