We know this, yet often times we find ourselves resisting the change. We say we are not ready. Sometimes it feels as if we are waiting for something to ripen within us. Waiting for something to POP! within us to feel ready for the impending change.
For some people the pop could be a trauma, for others it could be losing everything they have, and for others it could be a life changing event.
Maybe it is true that something has to ripen within us before we are ready for change. What is this ripening process actually? What makes us more ready today than we were yesterday if all things remain equal?
Perhaps it is a clearer view or perspective of the situation or ourselves?
Or perhaps we have been pushed over the edge emotionally that we begin to feel that there is no turning back? Or maybe there’s no where else to hide from our feelings?
The ripening process perhaps does things to our minds to get us ready and well set up for the transformation to begin. Any earlier, we would not be able to see the path. Any later, it might not work too.
I think the inner ripening process for change is like baking a cake. We need all the right ingredients, even though we do not know at that time what are ingredients we need, but the combination of right ingredients and timing makes it perfect. Some people may then walk out of bad situations easily and freely even though they have been trapped in the bad state for years.
Well, there are also people who have all the right ingredients to change, and they should have popped long ago. But they didn’t. Why? Most likely they have waited too long. And for them the status quo feels safer than to step out, even though it is more painful to remain. The sad thing is they do not know that it is actually more painful to remain, as they do not have the benefit of experience and hindsight.
The transformational process is a very personal one as well. One method may work brilliantly for one person but not for another. In a way, you could say that there is no one size fits all cookie cutter for the transformational process.
Each person also has to find their way through the transformational process. Sometimes people engage the help of a therapist, a coach or a counselor. Others work it out on their own.
Another interesting thing is that, there are times when people become addicted to the process that they stay stuck in the process without making a commitment to step out. In a way they are in limbo. They have stepped out of the comfort zone, taken the first step to change by going through the process and yet they are not coming out of the other side!
Whichever way we see ourselves walking towards meeting our true selves, we must honour our own transformational process and journey and allow ourselves the time and space to do so despite what others around us might say.
By standing up for our own transformational journey we are transformed.
© 2016, 2012 Shamala Tan